Little Lizzzzard

Imagine this.  You walk on to your back porch to find something strange under the garbage can.  What do you do?  Let me back up about 5 hours.  Earlier this morning I sprayed the yard with the Ortho Max yard spray stuff.  It allegedly kills bugs and stuff.  I sprayed.  It dried.  I went outside to find dead bugs flipped over on their backs.  I washed off the porch (with the bug spray).  Of course I wanted to make sure there was no chance that any of those creepy crawlies were coming on MY porch. 

Move back to present time.  I look under the garbage can by moving it slightly with my toe and out crawls a LIZARD.  I don't mean a little spider eating gecko.  I mean a 7 inch long (or so) gray and white lizard.  I swear it looked like a small alligator.  Of course it took my breath away.  I scared the crap out of me.  I jumped back about 2 feet.  It drug itself behind Kaci's Cozy Coupe and stayed there.  I am pretty sure the yard spray had almost killed it.  I have never seen it before.  I do not have any idea where this thing came from.  I went into panic mode.  For those of you that KNOW me you KNOW I do not do well in these types of situations.  And of course my husband is deployed.  So, I walk over to my neighbors house.  I knock on the door and when he came to the door I said, "I need your help."  I could hear J laughing.  I think she knew where I was going with this.

I proceeded to tell this Marine that I had a creature in my backyard that I wanted him to dispose of.  (chuckle)  He come creeping into the backyard and crouches down and peeks around.  Then we see it.  He turns to me and says, "I'll be right back."  I'm like...okay.  Did you read and process that I said he was a MARINE?  He asks as he is coming up the walk if he can come in.  I am like, of course.  HAHAHAHAHA  He went home to get his BB Gun! The lizard thing is crawling in between the shed and the house.  He shoots it with a BB Gun and tells me not to worry it's dead and it won't be back.  I am so relieved.

WAIT! NO! It's back and it's chillin under my grill! WTH?!?!?  Courtney and her friend come running downstairs to investigate.  HA.  Nea and CK decide that for $10 they will catch the lizard and throw it in the dumpster.  Ok.  I'm down.  I will SO give them $10 because there is no way on the Good Lord's green earth I am going near that thing.  CK gets the rake out of the shed and gives it to Nea.  She gets a garbage bag and puts her arms all the way inside.  They walk over to the lizard, barely lower the rake and it moves it's tail!  They both scream like girls and come high-tailing it into the house.  All of us are cracking up at this point.  They get their bearings and go out for a second attempt.  Nea is practically beating the whowhatsits out of the lizard and CK is CRYING! LOL Laughing and crying.  Nea manages to get the lizard on the end of the rake, out through the back gate and over to the dumpster.  Onlyyyy she drops it before they get to the dumpster.  I peek out the window and they are flipping examining the lizard.  Really?  I hear Nea tell CK to just put her foot on the bag and hold it up so she can scoop it in there.  She does.  It's over.  NOPE!  CK throws the bag and it falls out of the dumpster and the lizard almost falls on her! LMBO!  Anyhow,  the half dead lizard is in its grave...the dumpster.  I am going to have nightmares and the girls are showered and free from lizard cooties.

UNTIL NEXT TIME!